Fools and their College football!

"Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?"

Anyone? Anyone? I'll be the first to admit it takes a certain measure of humility to try and predict college football games every week. Humility and a complete lack of self-awareness combined with utter foolishness. At any rate, the stakes just continue to get higher with each passing week as my picks seem to be getting worse and worse. I haven't done a game by game comparison yet but had I put decent money on every game I've predicted the outcome for thus far, I'm pretty sure I'd be on the hook for approximately half of the nation's gross domestic product. That's college football, folks. Hey, don't look at me, I never forced you to put that 100 spot on Cal last week. Sucker! Which leads me into this week's always engrossing edition of 'Pigskin Picks of Utter Preposterousness...ment'

Georgia vs. LSU
I tried to do the 'eyeball' test with each of these teams before predicting a winner and I went cross-eyed. Honestly, I don't feel comfortable picking either one, therefore I predict the first 3-3 tie in college football since Franklin D. Roosevelt gave his 'Fireside chats'. Ok, that would just be the easy way out, and since I AM being paid good money to write this article every week, I feel that duty calls. No, seriously, it's GOOD money...


Let's face it, Georgia's schedule would chew up most other teams and spit them out faster than a pit bull in Michael Vick's backyard, so for them to be where they're at so far, they must be feeling pretty good about themselves. And if LSU was looking ahead last week to this game, then imagine how hard they must be trying to NOT think about next week's matchup against Florida. Neither team played particularly well last week but they are both loaded with talent and both still have something to prove to the nation and the rest of the SEC. The fact that the game is in Athens is probably countered by the fact that LSU will want payback for getting beat in their backyard last year. Let's just be honest, I am baffled by this game. For some reason I think the Bulldogs will pull it out. Call it a lack of faith in the LSU defense thus far this year. Georgia wins by 10 and AJ Green has 3 touchdowns.

Alabama vs. Kentucky
I know, Alabama is good. I mean, they're really, really good. Kentucky is not so good. Not so really, really good. Trent Richardson's TD run for the Tide last week was so filthy it made Howard Stern blush. Please, for your own good take 2 minutes and YouTube it. (When exactly did that word become a verb?) What's scarier is he's just getting started. Richardson, that is. Howard Stern is actually really old and nasty. Anyway, I ramble. Bama wins this one by 17.

USC vs. Cal
The hippies vs. the hipsters. Let me ax you if this scenario sounds familiar. A big, bloated blue and gold bear wanders out of the forest all full of himself, only to run into an awkward and hideously ugly green and yellow duck. Bear pisses off duck, duck knocks bear on his ass, rips open bear's chest with his beak, jams his now-bloodied wing into bear's chest cavity only to find out that- oh my goodness, hold the phone everyone- the big bloated blue and gold teddy bear has no heart. Awwwwwwwww....It was a good ride while it lasted, boys. Actually, no it wasn't. It was pathetic. This happens every year right around the time that the goin' gets tough. If a team takes on the personality of its coach, what does that say about Jeff Tedford? I think Goldilocks has more fight in her than any of these bears. No porridge for me. USC by 21.


Oklahoma vs. Miami
Throw in a cassette tape of The Outfield and break out your atari, cuz this is a true throwback to the 80's. I love this match-up, but for the love of Mike if I have to see Barry Switzer's face during this game even once i will throw a boot through the tv. (And since I'll probably be watching the game on my brother's tv, he better PRAY that doesn't happen.) But back to the game. Both teams have sick speed. Both teams have quarterbacks who have been pleasant surprises thus far (Landry Jones' porn-star hall-of-shame facial hair aside). Who has the better coach? OU, no question. Not only that but Oklahoma's big, scary D is on an absolute mission since they lost to BYU by one point in Week 1 (remember they only gave up 14 points in that loss). They haven't had much competition since then but I still have to go with a proven commodity in Oklahoma until Miami can show me more consistency week in and week out- even if Switzer's nose is halfway up Stoops', well, you know. Oklahoma over Miami BIG, 41-10.


Other mindless predictions bordering on sheer lunacy

Michigan will BARELY escape Michigan St. this week

The Fighting Zooks will rise one last time and put Penn St. where it truly belongs...out of the Top 25 for the year (and there was much rejoicing)

UTEP very well could beat Houston. How's that for a bold prediction.

Nebraska will beat Mizzou by 20 one week from tonight!


The boldest prediction of the week? I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

Have a great weekend and remember to eat your vegetables...

Andrew Deifel