Did you know the word Autumn comes from the root Aut-which is latin for 'foot-like appendage' and the word Tumn, meaning 'ball-like object'? No, you didn't, because that's blatantly false. What isn't false is that football, college football specifically, that most glorious of sports, that most noble of ambitions, that most honorable of past-times is finally here to stay. Again. For the next 4 months. And then somehow it disappears as quickly as it came and you feel so cheap and used cuz you gave up EVERYTHING for her for 4 straight months and then BAM! in the blink of an eye she takes everything and..er, heh, heh...sorry. Awkward! Anyway, getting back...after just one week I think we can make a pretty safe assumption that this season is going to be a dandy. Yeah, I said dandy- go get your own blog! Answer me this: Just a few short days ago did you really think that BYU would be in the Top 10 this year? I mean after week 1!?!?! And who thought Michigan vs. Notre Dame could actually mean something? Was it a given that Boise St. would once again have destiny on it's side to run the table for yet another 11 win regular season? Actually, I think we all saw that coming. For those of you who thought that the biggest surprise coming out of week 1 might be that Florida wouldn't cover the spread...there were surprises around every corner. And a few sucker punches as well. From Blount's right hook (seriously, can we move on already people- he's still going to be playing on Sundays a year from now) to a Michigan Wolverine's cheap shot at his own coach (I must admit, there's just something weasely about coach Rich-Rod) , I love college football in ways that are just, well, not normal. So let us begin.
I have been asked to provide my own predictions, insight and other ridiculousness in all it's many forms on the world of college football as I see them. I will not preview every game every week. However, i will preview some games some weeks and might even preview some of the games every week. Confused yet? And I certainly will not rehash the same crap that Kirk Herbstreit and Mark May discuss every weekend. If you want that, then please go to espn.com. But if I were you, I wouldn't do that. Oh, who am i kidding, I'm logged on there right now looking at everyone's schedule. By the way am I the only one who thinks it's odd that ESPN radio talking heads always bash the fact that the AP and coaches polls come out before a game is ever played, yet after week 1 ESPN is already predicting the bowl games? What-EVER!
Week 2 Preview
Let's just be honest. Week 2 is not filled with many marquee match-ups, at least not on paper. I can think of two: Morgan State at Akron and James Madison at Maryland. But, if you don't wanna watch another ACC team get beatdown by a basketball school you might wanna tune into Ohio St vs. USC and Michigan vs. Notre Dame. These are easy picks. USC by 24 and Notre Dame by about half that much. Ohio St. lost too much talent to earn a place in the preseason Top 10. Sure, they may go on to a BCS bowl, but only by beating up on what will surely shape up to be a pathetic year in the Big 10. Or rather I should say, another pathetic year. Remember when everyone thought Tressel was the best coach in America? Yeah, me neither. For some reason my gut just says that USC doesn't care where they have to play the Buckeyes, they know that the game is already won in their minds. And I will tell you right now that it is. Won. In their minds. When was the last big game that any of you can remember Ohio St. winning? That's what I thought. With the Buckeyes it's 90% mental and the other half physical. Prediction: USC 44 OSU 20
The other game will be a little closer...maybe. Notre Dame's offense against the, er, vaunted Wolverine defense? As much as it pains me to say it, Charlie Weis looked pretty effective as the OC against Nevada. Yes, he can stand AND call his own plays. This defense will be much better than Nevada's, but not good enough to hold Jimmy 'Santa' Clausen and his merry brood of golden elves under 30 points. Sorry, that little outburst won't happen again. Prediction: ND 31 Michigan 21
I don't work for a TV network so what the hell do I care if you watch the following games
North Carolina at UConn Oh, wait. Sorry, this is football season. I do not recommend watching this game unless you also enjoy A. jamming those tiny popcorn husks underneath your gums
B. torturing small defenseless animals
C. Watching any movie with John Turturro in it
Okay, I'm serious this time. Are you ready for this one? Houston vs. Oklahoma State. Maybe, just maybe these Cowboys come out flat and allow Houston to put up some points early. Mark my words: Houston is dangerous and even though we all know how much of a man Mike Gundy is, I think his team of 'Boys could be in for a long night. Evening. Afternoon. Whatever. Hey, did you notice how I managed to not only incorporate the little play on words there but how I also restrained myself from using the 'Houston, we have a problem' line? Seriously folks, let's give credit where credit is due.
As for the rest of the matchups I honestly do not foresee a single notable upset in the whole bunch. But if I did, that distinction would go to Iowa St upsetting Iowa in Jack Trice Stadium. Er, that's where the Cyclones play, btw. No, Iowa St. is not very good, but when you have to block 2 field goals in the last 2 seconds to beat Northern Iowa- you're not very good, either. In fact, you probably suck.
Boo Hoo OU
Now that Jermaine Gresham is out for the season, I wonder how aggressive Stoops will be in bringing Bradford back. Don't rush it, dude, cuz like, 2009 is so over. In weeks 4 thru 7 they play at Miami, home vs. Baylor, Texas and then at Kansas. Even with Bradford back they lose 2 of those games and probably will drop 1 or 2 more along the way. Thank goodness for that NFL defense...but in the Big 12 you have to have an offensive line to allow you to put A LOT of points on the board or you will get outscored. Case closed. Gresham opened up the entire field for the rest of that offense to do its thing and now every defense in the Big 12 will key on that running game and force Bradford to make them pay with unproven receivers and a soft O-line. Tell me that when you saw Bradford go down Saturday night that you didn't stretch your arms out to the football gods and offer up your firstborn in return for not letting that happen to YOUR star quarterback. Go ahead, tell me. No, I mean it. You can email me at...oh, never mind. Unless, that is, you're an OU fan and Bradford pretty much was your star quarterack. Then don't tell me. Cuz you're probably super pissed off right now AND your out one kid.
Teams That Don't Suck
Miami- speed, more speed and a gutsy QB
BYU- Who the hell saw that coming? Ah crap, I just swore.
California- speed, more speed and...seriously, enough talk. Just beat USC one of these years, will ya?
Nebraska- mark my words- they will get better every single week, and they're already really, really good. Is this the year they get the OU monkey off their back?
Texas- Who is going to rise up and beat these guys? Maybe Ok St on 10/31...but I doubt it. And enough of the McCoy-Bradford love-fest, people! Did I actually see them holding hands during that ESPN interview?
Grotesquely Overrated
Penn St.- Play. Someone. Good. You. Pansies.
Ohio St.- I don't even wanna talk about the Big 10 anymore
Ole Miss- Good gosh, do people really think there are only 5 teams in the entire country that are better than the Rebels? I mean, they're the rebels for gosh sakes! Stupid, stupid voters!!!
Georgia- Richt, win a championship sometime in this millenium and then we'll talk
Tennessee- I'm sorry, the last time i checked your school colors were still orange and white.
Iowa- The only thing good I can say about Hawkeye fans is that I don't live next to any of 'em.
Colorado- I will fight Dan Hawkins right here, right now. Hey, DH- we all know that Chris Peterson was the real architect of all your Boise St. teams!!!
That's all I got so thanks for taking time out of your day to read whatever the crap it was that I just wrote. Let's do it again soon.
BY ANDREW DEIFEL
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