The HelmetNation Top 25

If you’re anything like me (and let’s hope for the most part you aren’t, because it’d be creepy having two of me around) then you have grown tired of trying to find where USC’s butt ends and ESPN’s begins. You can’t tell me that Colin “I-think-I-have-the-most-beautiful-voice-ever-and-that’s-why-I-can’t-stop-saying-stupid-things” Cowherd, who has advertisements playing on the P.A. system during the USC games, is unbiased. I call BS on that one.

The whole of ESPN, for that matter, has torn their proverbial clothes off, in a fit of passion and dove head first into the STD-ridden bed of the BCS with no thought of protection. The result: A bastard version of college football that suckles from the teet of corruption on behalf of conferences that have half dominant teams and half total mouth breathers. Just like every other conference, except bigger TV markets (see Boyd Epley’s so-called testimony to congress).
Yep, that’s right, I’m calling it like I see it. ESPN, where the majority of college football fans get their “news” and “information” has a financial interest in seeing that the teams with the biggest television markets make it to BCS games to increase marketing and advertising revenue.

This is why USC, when losing to an unranked Washington, hardly fell out of the Top 10 and is already back to #7 in both the AP and USA Today Coaches poll but Utah, who lost to what turns out to be a pretty good Oregon team by a touchdown falls from 16th & 18th out of the top 30. These voters (aka interns), for the most part probably rely on ESPN for their information because clearly they don’t have time to watch each game themselves. Heaven knows I would give my left nut for that kind of time and I think that’s why heaven doesn’t give me that time. Anyway, it’s a total joke and I can’t figure out for the life of me why we, as a people, tolerate it, or worse yet, defend it. When we’re all dead and in the great football heaven in the sky, I’m going to personally punch the a-holes responsible for this BCS mess right in the neck.
As luck would have it, I have a computer and a brain, though some of you may be questioning that by now, but I assure you I do have a computer. It’s a MacBook and it beats anything Microsoft has even contemplated up to this point. Come to think of it, maybe Bill Gates is the head of the BCS. Both systems suck, are prone to bad design, own the largest piece of the total pie and both try to find new ways to eff things up. So, with this computer I’m going to create my own Top 25 that promises no financial bias and no BS. I’m beholden to no one in my choices, yes, I have my favorite team but hopefully you won’t be able to tell who it is. You can disagree with me if you want but if you don’t have a computer and brain to create your own Top 25; you can deal with it.
I heard a wise person say that there is the Top 3 and then who really knows after that. I actually really like that approach because it doesn’t apply the concrete notion that say, Ole Miss actually was the 4th best team in the country before yesterday. The fake flowers sitting on my kitchen table knew that Ole Miss as the 4th best team was pulled off the top of a massive dung heap. Give me a break! So, this is the approach I’ll take. I have hated that the polls have become more about teams moving up only because someone ahead of them loses and not because there are only that many teams ahead of them that are better than them. I mean, honestly, the fact that Iowa jumps from unranked to 13th & 17th for beating an overrated Penn State is absurd and borderline insulting, frankly. Do these pollsters honestly believe that there are only 12 or 16 teams in the country better than Iowa? Get real. So, I’ll ask myself the question: “Do I really feel that there are only x amount of teams in the country that would beat this team this week” based on their rank. In other words, if I’m trying to decide who I think is the 5th best team in the country I will ask myself if I really think there are only 4 teams in the country that would beat this team (and I should probably have those 4 teams listed in front of them). This is harder than it looks exactly because of the notion I stated earlier; there are about 3 top teams…and everybody else. In this case, I feel that there are 2 top teams…and then everybody else. My logic in this is that nobody knows how good a team really, truly is until they’ve played another team with at least marginal talent. The majority of these teams haven’t played anybody with any talent and the current BSC promotes this kind of patsy scheduling. I find it so ironically cruel that automatic berth teams fill their schedules with cupcakes and then exclude them from the big dance. The whole well of BCS college football would dry and die if it weren’t for the non-automatic berth conferences. So, here is the first of our HelmetNation Top 25 College Football rankings! Well enough ranting, here goes nothin’:

1) Florida – Have they sleep walked thru the season so far? In case you were wondering, they haven’t played a ranked team. But, I think they are talented enough that they would beat every other team in the country, even Alabama. But after that hit, Tebow may be wandering around the halls of his dorm unaware that he has no pants on, in which case, this rank could change. My opinion is they have the best coach in college football and that makes an enormous difference.
2) Alabama – I hate putting them this high, but they’ve dominated everybody right from the get-go. They made a Virginia Tech team that just beat Miami look like they should’ve stayed in Pop Warner and have continued that trend in every game. Utter dominance thus far.

3) Texas – I’m honestly not convinced of this one because once again, they haven’t really played anybody and Texas Tech so far, doesn’t count. I think they would beat Boise State if the two played.
4) Boise State – I’m sure I’ll take a beating from both people who read this (my brothers) and it may be a literal beating but they soundly took care of business against everyone they’ve played especially an Oregon team that may not be as bad as people initially thought, myself included. People don’t give them enough credit but this is a well-coached, fundamentally sound team. On a side note, I’ll never get the hilarious image of that D lineman’s eyes rolling momentarily into the back of his head after Blount’s knuckles met his chin.

5) Oklahoma – I’d prefer to leave this spot blank because I don’t think there is a team left that would beat every team but the four listed above. Since I have to put someone here it is Oklahoma (as much as that pains me) because of the defense. They have shut out their last two opponents (even though it was Idaho State & Tulsa) and they only allowed BYU to score 14 points. That should’ve been more than adequate to win but the stars aligned for the Cougars. The offense seems to be doing pretty good too. Who else is going to beat them with a worse ranking? I give Nebraska a legitimate shot in Lincoln.
6) Virginia Tech – Took Miami to the woodshed but their own offense is very average and Miami was drunk on their own kool-aid. Should have lost to Nebraska at home.
7) TCU – The Horned Frogs can play some tough D
8) LSU – Tigers have big tests coming up
9) Houston – Big 12 South Champs?
10) Georgia – Cox is becoming the man
11) USC – Offensive inconsistency will lead to several losses

12) Nebraska – Loss at VT was on a fluke. If you watched them last week you know they owned Virginia Tech and managed to shoot themselves in the foot. Nebraska was and is a better team than Tech.

13) Oklahoma State – Can they win the big games?
14) Oregon – Ducks have bounced back big time
15) Kansas – Undefeated but unimpressive
16) Ohio State – The Big 10 can’t be in the Top 15. Always overrated and Herbstreit shouldn’t be allowed to ever comment on them because he’s so over-the-top biased.
17) Cincinnati – Talk to me once they beat someone
18) Michigan – Tate Forcier in my opinion, is better than Matt Barkley but USC has better overall talent.

19) South Florida – Florida State got run by the Bulls
20) Iowa – Was Northern Iowa a fluke?
21) Missouri – Gabbert has been good so far
22) Miami – Not quite as ready as the talking heads believed
23) Utah – Loss of Asiata for the season will hurt
24) Brigham Young – Hall only threw 2 INT’s in the win
25) Georgia Tech – Need to be more consistent

BY: Joshua Deifel (with some help from Aaron Deifel)